Birdie Benchie

Can professional golfers be benchies?  Well you can, when you consider the number of PGA professionals who over the years have had to fight for a player’s card, beg for tournament invites, then play their tails off on Thursdays and Fridays just to make the money cut.

And, if there was ever a synonym for bench warmer, it would be Trunk Slammer, PGA golf’s descriptor of the aforementioned players who miss the money cut, and find themselves slamming their clubs into their rental car trunks then driving deep into the night---on a wing and a prayer---toward their next tournament.

Vance Heafner slammed a trunk or two early in his career but would have his moments later (Ryder Cup etc.) and win the  Walt Disney Team Championship.  

This was early in Heafner’s journeyman career on the PGA golf tour and the first year that the PGA awarded individual trophies for achievements in various categories (the most eagles, birdies, pars, etc., in sanctioned tournaments). These achievements were recognized at the PGA’s annual year-end award ceremony, and before the banquet Heafner was outside the clubhouse at Saw Grass putting on the practice green. A rather shapely blonde, leaned over the ropes and called to Heafner’s caddie,

“Who’s that tall blond kid?” she asked.

“That’s Vance Heafner,” the caddy said. “He’s here for an award tonight. Vance led the PGA tour this year by making the most birdies!” The woman thought for a second, took a draw on her cigarette, and said, “Well, he must have made a shit load of bogies ‘cause I’ve never heard of him!”